Back to Blog

Responding Instead Of Reacting

This year I have been saddened to see a number of married couples considering separating because they don’t believe they can resolve their communication issues.  Sometimes it seems as if they are speaking different languages!  One person might say something and their partner totally misinterprets their words, resulting in one not feeling heard or understood and the other feeling confused and frustrated.  When this continues for months or years, they quickly start to feel disconn...

April 1, 2021

3 Books That Can Change Your Life

I have vivid, wonderful memories of childhood days engrossed in a book, transported to another world!  As an adult, unfortunately my time for being whisked away by great fiction is a lot less but I still believe in the immense power of a great book. Here are some of the books we recommend to our clients who are seeking to know more about themselves and why they do the things they do.  We believe that everyone innately desires to live a fulfilling and meaningful life and these books can...

March 25, 2021

How To Argue Well

I’m right, you’re wrong!You always do this!You never listen to me!I don’t want to talk about it! Do these sound familiar?  In the middle of a heated argument, kindness and respect can quickly be replaced with blame and hurt. It doesn’t have to be that way!  Did you know that you can actually learn how to “argue well”?...

March 17, 2021

The Conversations That Changed Anna's Life

Anna is a mother of two beautiful boys with cognitive and physical challenges. She used to be an artist but gave it up to focus on being a full-time mother soon after her children were born.  Five years ago, both of her parents died within a few months of each other and she has never allowed herself to grieve for them.   In a rare moment of self-reflection, Anna poured her heart out: “I am so tired.  I feel like I devote my life to caring for my boys, teaching them the skills to...

March 15, 2021

You Are Not Your Feelings

You are not your feelings. We often identify so closely with our feelings that we believe we are them.   I am happy.I am sad.I am lonely....

March 4, 2021

Transform Your Workplace Culture

When Satya Nadella took over Microsoft in 2014, he set out to transform the company’s infamous toxic culture of hostility, infighting, and backstabbing.  To start, he gave each member of his senior leadership team a copy of the book “Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D. At its core, all communication is about connection.  In a business environment,  connection can be encapsulated by the Maori concept of Kotahitanga - unity and co-operation towards a co...

February 23, 2021

What To Do When You Feel Worried

How do you deal with worry?  Do you overeat or drink?  Do you binge-watch TV or social media?  Perhaps you get irritable and impatient with your loved ones. Feeling concerned is a normal and necessary part of being human.  It keeps us safe from potential threats.  However, when we worry,  we tend to ruminate in an unhealthy cycle of thoughts or future imaginings about what can go wrong, usually focusing on the worst-case scenario. If we are able to change our relati...

February 19, 2021

The Dance of Communication in Intimate Relationships

After working with couples for many years, I have realised something very important.  People don't stray from significant relationships and have affairs because the new person is more good looking, thinner, or smarter.  They turn to that person to get what they are not getting in their own relationship.  That may be attention, validation, acceptance, or any other unmet need they may have. Our intimate relationships with our life partners are like a dance.  When we first meet ...

February 11, 2021

The Most Important Relationship You will Ever Have

The most important relationship you will ever have is not with your partner.  It’s not the one you have with your child.  It’s not even with your friends or family. The most important relationship you will ever have is with YOURSELF. A relationship is a state of connectedness.  Your relationship with yourself is based on the integrity between who you are inside and the life you live on the outside.   I could write a whole book on this, but today I want to share 3 que...

February 3, 2021

The Best Way To Start The New School Year

As I was writing this blog, I asked my son for his thoughts on one thing parents could do to support their children as they go back to school.  He laughed and said:  “Make their lunch for them every day!”  It was then my turn to laugh!  I believe that learning to make yourself a filling and nutritious lunch is an important life skill, so although I may surprise him some mornings, at 15 years old he will still be packing his own lunch! On a more serious note, at this point...

January 28, 2021

5 Ways to Be A Better Listener

Listening well to others is one of the greatest gifts we can give them.  It lets them know that they matter and their life experience is valid and meaningful.  Last week, I wrote about 10 Blocks To Listening.  Did you recognise any of those behaviours in yourself?  I sure did!  The good news is that listening is a skill that we can practice and get better at.  Here are 5 tips to help you be a great listener....

January 26, 2021

10 Blocks To Listening Well

We want to be able to listen so others feel heard and understood.  Being a good listener is a skill we can practice and improve.  Here is a list of what not to do......

January 18, 2021

Make Your Life Wonderful in 2021

As we start 2021, are you feeling the pressure to make resolutions to achieve in the year ahead?  Is that list of to-do’s leaving you uninspired and stressed? What if there was a simple way to help align your goals with your true values, that allowed you to pursue them with joy and meaning and, by doing so, almost guaranteed your success of achieving them? Here are 3 steps to help you do exactly that!...

January 11, 2021

The Gift Of Gratitude

My grandmother was one of the most important people in my childhood and I loved her dearly.  A few weeks before she died, she was hospitalized, dipping in and out of consciousness.  Unfortunately, I was living overseas at the time and couldn’t get back to be with her.   It broke my heart that I couldn’t be there with her.  Wanting her to know how much I appreciated all she had done for me in my life, I wrote her a letter and asked a family member to sit beside her hospita...

December 15, 2020

Listening More Than We Talk

I was in the supermarket yesterday and I heard a very stressed mum exclaim to her young son: “I wish you would just do what I say!” My heart went out to her. I’m a mum and even though my children are now adults, I clearly remember those moments when I felt overwhelmed.  I loved my children deeply and wanted to be the best mother I could be...ah well, if only I knew then what I know now!...

December 4, 2020

Keeping the Happy in Your Holiday Season

The holiday season can be a stressful time as families gather together.  Emotions run high, expectations go into overload and not everyone brings their best self to the table.   Here are some suggestions that will help you enjoy your meal instead of biting your tongue or gritting your teeth to get through!...

November 26, 2020

Using The No-Fault Zone® Game: A Follow-Up With Lisa

We had such a heartfelt response to Lisa’s story regarding the shame she felt about her  anger that we decided to do a follow-up blog post.  Lisa used The No-Fault Zone® Game as I had suggested and she has agreed to share photos of her mat and her description of the process she went through with the cards....

November 20, 2020

An Anger Epiphany

Dear Sandra, It was over 25 years ago, so the details are a bit hazy.  What I vividly remember is a group of girls standing around me outside our high school classroom and a girl named Toni looking me right in the eyes and asking out loud: “Why are you always so angry?”  I can still feel the shock now as I did that day when her words landed.  I remember thinking "Oh, so that's what that feeling is called!" I was reminded of this incident last night as I read “Nonviolent Comm...

November 16, 2020

Your Anger Can Be A Gift

Have you ever tried to hold a beach ball under the water?  It’s impossible!  It keeps rising to the surface no matter how hard you try to hold it down. Anger is a lot like that.   Stifled or ignored anger festers and grows.   It pops out at any given moment even though we try to hold it in.  Yet, when we listen to the messages our anger has for us and learn how to express it in healthy ways, the ball deflates.  Then we can use our energy in more positive ways...

November 5, 2020

What Is Your Anger Trying To Tell You?

We all know that feeling.  Someone has done something or something has happened that has angered you and the rage is real!  Your body tenses, your heart races, your temperature rises and a vicious tirade comes spilling out your mouth before you even realise it!...

October 29, 2020

6 Ways to Resolve Expectation Issues In Relationships

Have you ever had an experience where someone else blamed you for not meeting their needs?  Perhaps you didn’t even know that they had those needs or you didn’t believe it was your role to meet them (but they sure did!). I see this happen often in many different relationships.  A lonely mother expects her adult children to fulfill her needs for companionship and empathy.  A husband expects his wife to cook his meals and do his laundry because his mother always did that for his...

October 22, 2020

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Mike, a single dad of teenage daughter, Riley, was distraught.  “I’ve been doing my best to be a good Dad but she doesn’t even want to talk to me.  She’s miserable!  I always thought I would be a better Dad than my father was but it looks like I’m just as incompetent as he was.  The divorce from her Mum must have really harmed her, I should have tried harder to make things work. I’m worried our relationship will never be the same.” What had caused Mike’s ...

October 16, 2020

Anne: A COVID-19 Case Study

This year has been challenging for everyone.  For many people, during lockdowns external life may have got quieter, but their internal dialogues got louder.  Unable to drown out their thoughts and feelings by rushing from one activity to the next, they became aware of the thoughts and emotions that were successfully hidden and muffled for years, even decades. This is what happened to Anne.   Anne is a 47-year-old woman with a husband, three teenage children and a demanding jo...

October 12, 2020

Taking Responsibility For Our Feelings

Do you ever feel like your moods and emotions are at the mercy of others? I have some good news...no one can make you feel something!  Their words and actions can affect you but they don’t cause your feelings.  Your feelings are triggered by the meaning you give to their words or actions - the story you tell yourself about them. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is transformative in the way that it encourages us to take responsibility for our feelings rather than blaming others for them...

September 28, 2020

Know Your Needs

These are some basic needs that we all have.  This list is not exhaustive, but it's a good place to start to connect with your own needs.  Closure  Choice /Autonomy  Belonging/Inclusion  Clarity  Acknowledgement  Authenticity  Awe/Wonder  Competence  Connection  Community  Order/Efficiency  Meaning/Purpose  Friends/Companions  Beauty  Fun/Play  Equality  Empathy  Creativity/Self Expression  Growth...

September 28, 2020 Posts 1-25 of 31 | Page next
 

This product has been added to your cart

CHECKOUT