You and I have something in common - we both value healthy, happy relationships.
And we both know the pain and sadness that comes from not being able to express ourselves safely, not feeling understood or being defensive and over-reactive.
I want you to know that you are not alone.
I get it.
And I’m here to let you know that it can be better. I am living proof of that.
Looking back, I can’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t seeking to understand myself and the world around me better.
After years of hurt, confusion, and anger, I began to realise that even though I thought I was a good communicator, I actually wasn’t! I assumed that everyone saw the world as I did, so I couldn’t understand why there was always so much misunderstanding and hurt.
Then, about 8 years ago, I was introduced to Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication (also known as Compassionate Communication) and my life began to change for the better.
For 34 years of our marriage, my husband Petar and I had a communication style that was fiery and loud. I was passive-aggressive, he was aggressive-passive and even though we both loved each other dearly, it all got lost in translation.
After learning to understand each other’s feelings and discovering that we both had unmet needs, we began to connect with one another on a much deeper level.
Don’t get me wrong, we still experience tension - the difference now is that we just can’t argue! We have learned to pause, find out what is really going on for the other person and then come together to figure out how to meet both our needs. Our lives are more contented, peaceful and enriched and I see the overflow into our family and work daily.
You’re probably wondering how we did it, and if you could do it too - in your marriage, family or business.
The truth is, you can.
After more than 30 years in Social Services, I have seen the pain and damage caused by a lack of empathy and not knowing how to communicate effectively.
I have also had the privilege of watching relationships heal, deepen and grow as people have been given the tools to understand themselves and others in a way that leads to clarity and connection.
That’s what I want for you too.
Together with my wife, Sandra, we co-founded Authentic Communication to help those who are seeking to develop self-awareness and strengthen their communication and problem-solving skills.
I’m passionate about working with men who are seeking to develop meaningful connections in their relationships.
With over 35 years of experience in community and government social services, facilitation and management, and as a father of four (now adult) children, I believe that authentic communication is essential for healthy relationships.
My key motivation is to ensure the delivery of quality person-centered support and education, focusing on meaningful outcomes for all of our clients.
I believe that the biggest obstacle to effective communication is the way in which we use our words to judge, blame, and label ourselves and others. This is deep-seated in our culture although we often do it habitually, without awareness, causing deep disconnection and pain in our relationships.
After decades of working as an internationally recognised trainer and facilitator in Nonviolent Communication, I have repeatedly seen that when people realise that there is a different and better way to communicate, and are equipped with the tools to do so, they begin to experience connection and cooperation in their relationships.
I am delighted to support Sandra and Peter as they share the skills of effective communication in New Zealand and Australia. The No-Fault Zone® Game is a visual, hands-on tool that empowers people to understand their own feelings and those of others, leading to meaningful conversations and relationships.
I'm inspired and hopeful, knowing that there are authentic people who actively find ways to work for peace in their families and workplaces, and who share my dream for a peaceful, sustainable world.
Sura lives in Seattle, Washington and is available for online consultations, mentoring, and workshops.
email: firstname.lastname@example.org: www.thenofaultzone.com
Let us help you go from arguing to connecting, let the journey begin.
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