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We are in the midst of winter here in New Zealand and it seems like the weather, together with a lot of financial, cultural and societal turmoil, is creating stress in many people’s lives. This shows itself most clearly in our close relationships, those family and friends ...
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It’s so much easier to do what we’ve always done in our lives.  It’s comfortable and familiar.  Our complex brains like it because they know what to expect.  They can be resistant to change or unpredictability and see new experiences or ways of thinking ...
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Do you remember doing a science experiment at school where the teacher poured iron filings on to the table and then held a magnet near them?  All the filings were immediately drawn to the magnet, covering it until it looked like a fuzzy little creature. We can feel a bi...
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This One Small Change Can Transform Your Relationships

This year I have been saddened to see a number of married couples considering separating because they don’t believe they can resolve their communication issues.  Sometimes it seems as if they are speaking different languages!  One person might say something and t...
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I have vivid, wonderful memories of childhood days engrossed in a book, transported to another world!  As an adult, unfortunately my time for being whisked away by great fiction is a lot less but I still believe in the immense power of a great book. Here are some of the...
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How To Argue Well

March 17, 2021
I’m right, you’re wrong!You always do this!You never listen to me!I don’t want to talk about it! Do these sound familiar?  In the middle of a heated argument, kindness and respect can quickly be replaced with blame and hurt. It doesn’t have to be that way! ...
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After working with couples for many years, I have realised something very important.  People don't stray from significant relationships and have affairs because the new person is more good looking, thinner, or smarter.  They turn to that person to get what they are...
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Have you ever had an experience where someone else blamed you for not meeting their needs?  Perhaps you didn’t even know that they had those needs or you didn’t believe it was your role to meet them (but they sure did!). I see this happen often in many different rel...
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Mike, a single dad of teenage daughter, Riley, was distraught.  “I’ve been doing my best to be a good Dad but she doesn’t even want to talk to me.  She’s miserable!  I always thought I would be a better Dad than my father was but it looks like I...
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The No-Fault Zone® Game

September 18, 2020
Do you want to understand yourself better and figure out why you say and do the things you do? Would you love to be able to express yourself with more clarity and confidence? Do you experience misinterpretations and misunderstandings in relationships?The No-Fault Zone® Game...
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